Thursday, January 15, 2009

Off My Rocker

I saw a show on depression the other day and it seems it is simply human to become depressed. It got me to thinking about other mental "problems" we may face in our day-to-day lives such as worrying too much and denial.
I don't want you to think to yourself: "Boy, might as well stop reading because this is depressing." I'll try to keep it interesting.
Anyhow, we all get depressed from time-to-time. Some go through horrible depression while others only mildly and not very often.
Some try and disguise the fact they are depressed for they see it as weakness. For those people, now that you know that everyone has it, you can let go and get a little sad like the rest of us.
I think I'm somewhat like Mom was. Outgoing on the surface, but I can become introverted and reclusive. There are times when I just want to be alone. Don't know why, I've just always been like that.
I also like to worry. Well, I wouldn't say I like it, but I do worry about things out of my control. Don't know for sure, but I bet worrying and depression are linked somehow. Mom used to make up things to worry about. My wife reminds me not to worry about things I can't control. I try to obey her and it works pretty good.
Back to the topic of depression: In this country, billions of dollars are spent on anti-depressants. That alone should tell us it is human to get sad. I wonder if every person in the country who claims not to get depressed could be diagnosed with a case of denial. Oh man, I think I suffer from denial as well.
I may be getting depressed from the denial I have about worrying too much ... or maybe it's the other way around. It's insane to me the amount of trouble we can get into while mulling these things over. Not that there is anything wrong with insanity...
Since I'm cleansing my mental state in this space, I might as well disclose that I suffer from a fear of failure. It must be a mild case, however, because I keep trying new things.
When I was a child, I had a sense of normalcy. I watched reruns of "Leave It To Beaver," "I Love Lucy" and "Father Knows Best" and thought the world was this normal place where there was little crime and divorce and no one got depressed. Now I really wonder just what exactly normal is.
Am I normal? Are you? Between us, I'm a walking, talking freak-show who sometimes gets depressed, worries too much, is in denial and who has a fear of failure. How about you?
At the very least, I feel better haven gotten all that off my chest. I can honestly say that I feel pretty "normal" at this very second and that's good. I hope you do as well.

Copyright Christopher Blackburn 2009


Sharon said...

High five on admitting to the world that you are a freak show. Now, when are you going to tell them that you talk to inanimate objects, and tell yourself jokes? I know the truth and really, that's all that matters because I love you regardless! Thanks for keeping me grounded and balancing out my scale!

Ryan Mills said...

I'm just glad me didn't mention how crazy I am.

Christopher Blackburn said...

Ryan is a double feature freak show. Baby, you are like a Saturday matinee. Don't know what I'd do without you - either of you.